What in the World!
by HarryPottertheBallerina
Summary: Ladybug and Chat Noir are bored, and decide to read fanfiction from Alya's Ladyblog. Join our superheroes as they dive into the world of poorly written fanfiction and horrible cliches.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Hi all! So, my basic idea for this story is that I'll write really bad fanfiction (nothing inappropriate), and then have Ladybug and Chat Noir read it. There won't really be an ongoing plot, just reading weird stories. I welcome reviews! Enjoy!**

 **Reactions will be normal print, the fanfiction is bolded.**

Chapter 1: Really Dramatic Fanfiction with Weird Descriptions and Character Hate

Chat Noir and Ladybug sat together on a rooftop, staring at the moon. They had just finished up their weekly patrol, but didn't quite want to go to bed yet.

"I have an idea." Said Ladybug, "The Ladyblog, you know, the website run by that Alya girl, has a place to post fanfiction about us. It might be really funny."

Chat Noir grinned, "Only if we can read some Ladynoir stories."

He winked. Ladybug rolled her eyes.

"Here's one!" she said, reading the description.

 _A kidnapped Ladybug leads to Chat Noir saving the day alone._

"I don't know if I'm a fan of being kidnapped, but reading about you being all worried might be fun."

Chat shrugged, "If you're _feline_ excited about this one then let's read it!"

 **Chat ran, ran, ran. He ran until he just couldn't run.**

"I must have run a really long time," Chat said confused, "I can get all the way to the other side of Paris without being tired."

 **His quads burned.**

 **His head hurt. His feet felt like constipated monkeys had bit into them.**

"What in the world?" Ladybug said, "Do your feet feel like they've been bitten by constipated monkeys often?"

"No!" Chat responded, "I've never had a thought process anything like this before in my entire life."

 **His eyes strained, staring into the sun, sweat dripping off his attractive, bare back.**

"When did you take off your shirt?" Ladybug exclaimed, "Plus, I didn't even think it was possible to take the suits off while transformed!"

"It isn't!" Chat Noir said, "I have no clue what's going on in this story!"

 **His nose sniffed the air, a storm was coming.**

 **A STORM OF CHAT NOIR**

"I don't even know how to respond to this," Chat said, bemused. "There is absolutely no plot."

Ladybug laughed, "The plot is your biggest problem with this?! Are you listening to the descriptions!?"

 **Chat knew he had to save Ladybug, as she was weak compared to his god-like features.**

Ladybug glared at Chat Noir, who raised his hands defensively.

"I promise I have never thought that!" he said, "Clearly, this author just really likes me!"

"I don't think that they have ever seen you," she said teasingly, "I mean, god-like features? Yeah, right!"

"Hey!" he protested, "I'm a purrfect work of art!"

 **He easily defeated the akuma, saving Ladybug and laughing at her attempts to impress him. The end.**

"Are you kidding!" Ladybug shouted, "I would never try to impress him, that's his job!"

"Ignoring the slight insult," Chat intervened, "I find it funny that that was the part you have taken offense to, rather than the fact that any akuma I could easily overpower alone would be really weak, but they still managed to kidnap you. Plus, they skipped the entire fight scene!"

She shrugged, "I have different priorities than you. Can we read a story that doesn't insult me now?"

 **AN: So, I hope you enjoyed the first chapter. If you have any idea for bad fanfiction clichés (the bad grammar story, etc), then I would be happy to write some and have the superheroes react to them. Read, review, favorite, follow, and tell me your favorite akuma in the comments! Au revoir!**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Oh my gosh! I was so excited to see all your requests! Hope you enjoy!**

Chapter 2- The girl who thinks that a crush is the most important thing in the world

Chat Noir looked through the site, then grinned up at Ladybug.

"I have the purrfect story!" he said. "It's a LadyNoir story called _My Everything_."

Ladybug sighed, "Do we have to?"

"Yep!"

 **Chat Noir and I had just defeated an akuma, and we sat on a rooftop talking. Chat was flirting, as always, and I smiled. Chat Noir makes me smile.**

Ladybug scoffed.

 **Everything Chat Noir does makes me smile.**

"What!" Ladybug exclaimed, "Most of what you do drives me insane!"

"Me-owch!" Chat Noir said, "I think I prefer your thought process in this!"

 **"I'm sure you love me," I said, grinning.**

 **"I'm not** ** _kitten!"_** **he protested, winking.**

 **On the outside, I rolled my eyes.**

"Finally! A realistic reaction!" Ladybug said.

 **On the inside, I felt my heart soar through the treetops, singing like a bird discovering spring for the first time, and then I melted into chocolate peanut butter cups.**

Chat Noir wiggled his eyebrows. "I knew you cared!" he said, "I just didn't know how much!"

Ladybug glared.

 **If only I could feel his lips against mine, my life would be complete.**

Chat smirked. "Want me to make your life complete?"

"I'm good, thanks." Ladybug said dryly.

 **His hair was a more perfect blond than even model Adrien Agreste could dream of.**

"That's not true!" Ladybug said, "Adrien's way hotter than you!"

"I think that we're about equal," said Chat Noir. "But I think I detect a bit of a fangirl."

"You do not!" Ladybug said vehemently.

 **I look into his eyes and see my heart reflected in their pools of green. I long for him, nay, pine for him. My desire for his love breaks me into a million tiny icy shards.**

"That sentence is the most ridiculous thing that I have ever read in my entire life!" Ladybug protested.

 **"Chat," I said suddenly, "Meet me tonight at the Eiffel Tower. I want to kiss you."**

"Wow!" Ladybug commented, "That was completely unsubtle, unromantic, and abrupt."

"I can oblige right now!" Chat said, leaning in.

 **"I can oblige right now!" Chat said, leaning in.**

"At least I'm in character." Chat said.

 **"No!" I said.** ** _Yes!_** **I thought** ** _._**

"I didn't know it was so much of a struggle to resist my flirting." Chat remarked.

"Stop enjoying this so much!" Ladybug said, "It's not that funny!"

 **** **I had to be strong- our first kiss would unleash too much love into the world to exist anywhere other than the most romantic place in Paris.**

"What!?"

 **"Until then, m'lady." He said, bowing then bounding off.**

 **"My heart goes with you." I murmured. Nothing could happen, no joy could exist in the world, until Chat and I kissed tonight. He was my everything.**

"That was… really weird. I don't think like that." Ladybug said, frowning.

"Which is really a shame!" Chat Noir said, "Because imagine how much love our dating would release into the world."

Ladybug pulled out her yoyo. "I get to choose the next one!" she said.

 **AN: That was honestly so fun to write! Read, review, favorite, follow, and leave requests!**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: This is for the reader who requested a parody of** ** _My Immortal,_** **which, I tried to read, got about 3 chapters in, and was completely horrified. I have never read ANYTHING more poorly written than that story. I finally made a Miraculous Ladybug version, and I think got it down to a K+ rating, which it definitely was not before. If you value your sanity, DO NOT read the original version. I'm traumatized. ;)**

"Here's one that looks interesting. It's about how they imagine my real self." Ladybug said excitedly, "It's called _My Immortal._ "

 **hi my name is Obsidianna Ash Marrow Lament Way**

"Wow! How did they know?" Ladybug said sarcastically.

 **and I have long mid-length obsidian colored hair (that's how I got my name)**

"You have interesting parents," Chat said, "That is a very long and very weird name."

 **with purple streaks and red tips**

"That's an atrocious color scheme, plus, my hair ISN'T dyed!"

 **and bluebell eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look a lot like Amy Lee**

"Who?" Chat asked.

 **(if you don't know who she is than get da heck out of here).**

"Well then," Chat said, "I'm so sorry for the atrocious crime I just commited."

 **I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish he was cause he's super-hot!**

"I don't know who that is either."

 **I'm 21**

"Nope!" Ladybug said, "I'm not 21!'

 **and I have white teeth and pure white skin, because I'm totally a vampire and super Goth, duh!**

"I'm not a vampire, or goth," Ladybug said, confused. "This is like the opposite of me."

"That's good." Chat said, "This person sounds _paw_ ful."

 **I'm also a superhero named Ladybug, but my costume looks like a prep outfit, and is totally not my style.**

"It is too!"

 **For example, today I was wearing neon green fishnets, with a leather black mini dress with a lacy back and combat boots. I had red lipstick lines drawn from my lips to my chin because, duh, it looks like blood and I need to show my inner vampire.**

"That is without a doubt, the most insane and ugliest outfit I have ever heard of." Ladybug complained, "How come I'm always completely out of character?!"

"At least you're in it!" Chat said, mock-pouting.

 **My ladybug transformation makes my super-hot hair way shorter and in pigtails, and puts me in this super preppy red and black suit.**

"You already used the adjective preppy!"

 **"Hey Obsidianna Ash Marrow Lament Way!"**

"People use her whole name when they talk to her!?"

 **called a voice. It was my friend Raven, who knew I was Ladybug because I told her.**

"I'm jealous," Chat said, "Why did you tell this raven chick and not your _claw_ some partner?"

 **I'm like super tortured with deep secrets, though, so I don't tell her other stuff.**

"What the heck!" Ladybug said, "That is such a contradiction and what in the world is my character in this?"

 **"There is an akuma!" she said, her red eyes reflecting the sorrow and hatred that makes us friends-"**

"I'm done." Ladybug said. "I can't read this anymore. It's just too bad."

 **AN: Sorry the ending was a little abrupt. Also, my a** ** _paw_** **logies (yep, I'm secretly Chat Noir), but I just don't think that this was the best chapter I've written. Expect a quick update, the next chapter is almost done.**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: *Hiding behind Ladybug* I'm so sorry! I said that you should expect a quick update, and then I didn't update for like 3 weeks…. I promise that I am working on your requests, it's just taking some time…**

 **Hawkmoth had a plan.**

"That's unfortunate." Ladybug said dryly.

 **Ladybug always won because she was so lucky!**

"And because she has her purrfect partner!" Chat added, annoyed.

 **He knew the exact akuma that could defeat her. An opposite ray- to make you the opposite of who you are- she'd become unlucky! All he needed was a conflicted and depressed teenager.**

"That seems incredibly stupid."

 **Ladybug and 'Chat Noir dodged Opposite's rays. A scream came from behind them. Ladybug turned around, unknowingly turning her back to the ray shooting at her.**

Chat winced. Even with such an ineffective and stupid sounding ray, he still had nightmares about an akuma getting in a lucky shot at his lady.

 **"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Chat screamed,**

"Wow! You're really concerned!"

 **jumping in front of Ladybug, taking the full force of the piercing ray straight in his chest.**

"Chat!" Ladybug complained, "You know I hate that!"

"Hey! This is fanfiction! Don't yell at me!"

 **He fell to the ground. Ladybug and Opposite stared in shock as he began to morph. His cat ears turned larger and floppy. His tail got fluffier and shorter and his eyes turned brown.**

 **"Woof!" Chat barked.**

"YES!" Ladybug shouted, pumping her arm, "I am NEVER going to let you forget this!"

Chat glared.

 **Ladybug gasped. Chat Noir was a chien! (** AN: **French for dog)**

 **He sat up, his tongue out, panting. He turned to the akuma and it almost seemed like he was grinning. He bounded over, tackling Opposite to the ground.**

 **"Woof!" he said again, then began licking the akuma.**

Ladybug rolled onto her back laughing.

"This is priceless!" she grinned, "I love this story so much!"

 **"Eww!" Ladybug said, "Chat, ummm, stop!"**

 **"I didn't sign up for this, Hawkmoth!" the akuma shouted, "Yuck! Get off, you stupid dog!"**

"Maybe you should lick the next akuma, Chat. Clearly it frightens them more than our powers."

 **Ladybug regained her composure and sprinted forward, grabbing the akumatized object and breaking it. She cast her miraculous cleanse and looked hopefully at Chat Noir.**

"Oh, m'lady! You looked hopefully at me! You clearly love Chat Noir more than Chien Noir! I knew it!"

 **In response, he shook his head and looked up at her, horrified.**

"I should be horrified. I just licked an akuma."

 **"Did I just-?"**

 **"Yep." She smirked, "Luckily, I saved the akuma from Chien Noir's licking reign of** ** _terrier_** **."**

"Ladybug, you made a dog pun! I can never forgive this!"

Ladybug smirked, "What if I let you choose the next story?"


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Hello all! How's life? Just FYI, this is probably going to be the usual wait time per chapter, I'm going to be really busy with school for a while.**

 **One more thing, there appears to be some confusion. All the fanfiction that Ladybug and Chat Noir read are from the Ladyblog. This means that there won't be any reveals, Marichat, Adrienette, or Ladrien stories. So sorry! Hope you enjoy though!**

"This one looks good!" Chat Noir said excitedly, "It has a third superhero!"

"Ok, Chat." Ladybug said, "Whatever you want."

 **I (Yes, this is me: SuperTheo114) ran into the street to rescue the damsel in distress** **Ladybug**

"The WHAT!"

 **from the clutches of the menacing Chat Noir.**

"From my clutches!" yelled Chat Noir angrily, "I'm not evil!"

 **Allow me to introduce myself I am the Orange Doggy.**

Ladybug and Chat Noir burst out laughing.

"That… is….the… stupidest superhero name I have ever heard!" Chat laughed, "Why would you name yourself that?"

 **I am Ladybugs one true love. Although everyone in Paris may think she and her unworthy partner Chat Noir are together. It is not so!**

"It could be so if you wished it, m'lady."

 **Ladybug and I are in fact secretly married.**

"MARRIED!"

 **Back to the story. I snatch her out of his clutches and she swoons into my arms. My poor helpless sweetheart.**

Both superheroes growled.

 **We speed away over buildings until we reach a safe hiding place.**

"Not only is this story horrible, but the grammar is horrible too!" Chat Noir groaned.

 **"What happened?" I cried in a voice of anguish and bitterest regret, "I always knew Chat Noir was jealous of your superior super powers, but I did not think that it would come to this."**

 **Manly tears ran down my cheeks at the shock and horror of this not unforeseen betrayal. Chat Noir was a good man, but he was also a horrible excuse for a human being.**

"That seems like a contradiction to me." Ladybug said, "How can you be a good man AND a horrible excuse for a human being?"

"That's your problem with this?"

 **"Alas, but it has come to this!" wailed Ladybug, her feminine wails distracting me from my intelligent thoughts. "I had just saved him, and he snapped and attacked me!**

"Another contradiction," Ladybug said annoyed, "If I have such superior powers and just saved him, why am I also so weak?!"

 **I don't know what I would have done if you had not come and saved me, Orange Doggy."**

Chat Noir snickered. "I still can't get over the ridiculousness of that name."

 **Her face was a heart-wrenching combination of terrified and shaken.**

"How heart-wrenching." Ladybug said dryly.

 **"It is alright my darling!" I cried with rebarbative and heroic tones,**

"While definitely true, I don't think the author knows what rebarbative means." Ladybug said, hiding a smile.

 **"With our combined might we shall capture Chat Noir, lock him away, and save Paris from his pure uncontainable and furious rage."**

Ladybug tackled Chat Noir.

"I must save Paris from your uncontainable and furious rage!" she cried out.

Chat Noir pushed Ladybug away, laughing. "Your feminine wails will not save you from this horrible excuse for a human being!"

 **"Yes!" exclaimed Ladybug joyously, "We shall do that, and then we will live forever in happiness!" Ladybug smiled up at me, eyes full of love and devotion.**

 **We took down Chat easily. The details of how are not important. We took his miraculous and gave it to John, my friend who was truly worthy of being a superhero. (This is you SuperBro4Lyf62!) John became the godfather to our children,**

"CHILDREN!"

 **and we lived happily the rest of our days.**

Ladybug sighed. "All this fanfiction is just so bad! Why am I always so out of character?"

Suddenly, Ladybug was struck with an idea. She just needed a couple of hours. This would drive Chat Noir crazy.

 **Dun, dun, dunnn! You'll have to wait for next time to see Ladybug's idea. As always, I'll take suggestions and reviews! I absolutely love seeing all the suggestions, and I'm so glad you guys like the story enough to suggest stuff! See you soon!**


	6. Chapter 6

**An: Hello again y'all! I am sooooooo (5 years later) ooooooooooo sorry that I've taken such a long time to update! I'm super busy! Anyway, as many of you guessed, this chapter has Ladybug writing her own fanfiction. Enjoy!**

A couple of days later, Ladybug and Chat Noir sat together once more, scrolling through the Ladyblog to find a story.

"Here's one!" Ladybug said, pointing to one of the titles, "It says that it's written by Marinette Dupain-Cheng! Remember her from the Evillistrator?"

Chat Noir gave a Cheshire grin. "I'd love to," he said, "But be warned, if I remember correctly Marinette is a pretty big fangirl of mine."

Ladybug smirked. "We'll see."

 **A Guide to Flirting For Chat Noir, in two simple steps**

 **1.** **Stop With the Pick-Up Lines- they will only cause you pain**

 ** _One day after fighting an akuma, Chat Noir and Ladybug sat together on a building, watching the sun set._**

"Just like right now!" Chat Noir said, looking out at the horizon. "Very romantic, yeah?"

"No."

 ** _"Did it hurt?" Chat Noir asked, grinning at Ladybug._**

 ** _"Did what hurt?"_**

 ** _"When you fell from heaven." Chat finished, winking._**

Chat Noir smirked and leaned in, "Did it m'lady?"

Ladybug ignored him.

 ** _Ladybug rolled her eyes and shoved Chat Noir, knocking him off the roof. She threw her yoyo, catching his foot with the string and laughed as he dangled off the edge._**

Ladybug laughed and noticed the unhappy expression on Chat's face.

"What was that about Marinette being a fangirl of yours?" she asked triumphantly.

 ** _"Did it hurt when you fell from the building?" she called, pulling him back up._**

 ** _"Very funny, m'lady." Chat groaned, glaring._**

 ** _The flirting was not successful._**

"Duh! It never is!"

 **2.** **Don't stop**

Ladybug sat up suddenly and leaned over to see the story.

"Are you sure that's what it said?" she asked.

"What was that about Marinette _not_ being a ladynoir fan?"

 ** _Ladybug panted, having just finished her miraculous cleanse. She turned to Chat Noir. He was sweating from the heat of the day, but still grinning mischievously. Ladybug braced herself for the onslaught of puns that she knew from experience would infiltrate even the most serious of conversations._**

"Hey!" Chat protested, "I knew when to stop!"

Ladybug looked at him incredulously. "You? Restraint? I doubt it."

Chat Noir sighed in defeat. "I guess that that's slightly true…"

 ** _"Ladybug," he said, uncharacteristically nervous, "I'm in love with you."_**

 ** _"I know." She said, smiling gently, "I'm in love with you too."_**

"WHAT!" Ladybug shrieked, and then she realized. Alya had come over earlier that day and was doing something on her computer. She must have changed what Marinette had written to satisfy her love for anything Ladynoir.

"Is that all it takes?" Chat Noir asked. His eyes stared into Ladybug's and he scooted closer. "Ladybug," he said seriously, "I'm in love with you."

"Chat," Ladybug murmured, leaning in even closer, "You smell like Camembert."

Chat Noir jerked away and glared at her. "That wasn't very nice!"

 ** _Chat gave her the broadest grin she had ever seen, and embraced her._**

 ** _"I was worried that you would want me to stop flirting." Chat said, still smiling._**

 ** _"I don't ever want you to stop." Ladybug said, then pulled him in for a kiss._**

 ****"If you insist."

"Chat, I swear-"

"You shouldn't swear, m'lady."

Ladybug groaned and snatched away the story. "I get to pick the next one!" she called out.

 **As always, follow, favorite, review, and send in your ideas and clichés!**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: I am SO SORRY! School and life got in the way of fanfiction, and before I knew it I hadn't updated this story in 2 months! Don't kill me! Here is a Hunger games AU, because I can.** **?**

 **It's been two days, six hours, 25 minutes, and 37 seconds**

"That's oddly specific." Said Chat Noir

 **since my partner and I were forcibly admitted into the 2** **nd** **annual Hunger Games.**

"I love that book!" Ladybug said, "It was really sweet!"

"The love triangle was so cheesy and too complicated." Said Chat, "Get a clue, Katniss!"

 **My only concern is for my pun-loving companion-**

"I'm _paw_ sitive that that's me."

 **Chat Noir, for his lack of a miraculous cleanse gave him a severe disadvantage on the treacherous, war-torn battlefield of destruction.**

"That's descriptive."

 **If it weren't for my brave battle with the Bubbler, my efficient eviction of Evillistrator, or my dangerous dance with Darkblade,**

"Dangerous dance?" Chat said "Do you have something you want to tell me, Ladybug?"

 **he would no longer be of the living souls in this treacherous, war-torn battlefield of destructive warfare.**

"Wow, I'm so glad we got to hear that description twice." Ladybug said sarcastically.

 **Only Chat Noir, Stoneheart, and I remain. The time is ticking. Three more precious minutes have passed, my breath slowing as I calm my shaking nerves.**

 **Suddenly, my ladybug senses tingled.**

"WHAT!" laughed Chat, "Who are you, Spiderman?"

 **Far off in the distance, I heard the war-cry of the Chat,**

"Ooo, the war cry of the Chat. Scary." Ladybug said.

 **and, nearly 48.543 seconds later,**

"Is there a reason all the times have been really specific?"

 **watched Chat Noir sprint by, pursued relentlessly by Stoneheart.**

 **I felt conflicted.**

"Don't feel conflicted!" shouted Ladybug, "There's nothing to be conflicted about! Just run and help before he gets hurt!"

 **Do I save my lover of 3 years, 8 weeks, 2 days, 10 hours, 5 minutes and 42 seconds,**

"Why would anyone think that it would be a good idea to go into _this_ much detail!?"

 **or do I wait for the last of my competition to annihilate each other and free myself of this treacherous, war-torn battlefield of destructive warfare's horrors?**

"That's awful!" Ladybug exclaimed, "I would never do that!"

"I know that," Chat reassured her, "Don't worry."

 **No! I shook myself free of my malicious thoughts. I must go after my love, my life, my everything.**

"Why are we always in love in these?"

 **I ran as swiftly and gracefully as a ladybug red swan,**

"That would actually be really disturbing."

 **following the path of destruction that trailed after Stoneheart.**

 **But, alas, I fear I'm too late! I watch as Stoneheart slams Chat Noir to the ground. I barely hear Chat's pained grunt, but I see his hand instantly coated with a black cloud and watch as he slams his cataclysmic hand into Stoneheart's chest.**

"I killed him!" Chat shouted, surprised, "I would never do that!"

 **My heart flutters with relief, I barely had 2.03 seconds to breathe before the remains of Stoneheart collapsed, and, in what seemed like slow motion, I saw a blackened boulder crash onto Chat's already wounded and broken body.**

"No!"

Chat stared at Ladybug quizzically. "You know it's just a bad story, right?"

"I know that," she replied, "But that doesn't mean I want to think about you dying."

 **I bound to my sweetheart, and collapse to my knees.**

 **"** **Chat!" I cried. "What wound inflicted doth pain you so?"**

"And know I'm speaking like Shakespeare. Great."

 **"** **Tis my heart," he replied, "it breaks as my bones doth shatter."**

 **I lean down and brush my lips against his, but no breath escapes his mouth.**

 **The cannon fires. I have been freed from the treacherous, war-torn battlefield of destructive warfare's horrific nightmares, but the cost was too high. My heart will be forever trapped, partnerless, as cold as the stoneheart that ended my love's life.**

"That was too sad." Ladybug said unhappily. "Find a nice, happy one."

 **As always, read, review, favorite, follow, and submit suggestions.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello my wonderful readers! Quick update, WOOHOO!**

 **Anyway, I thought that I would explain why my chapters are so short. To me, a lot of the jokes and badness I enjoy with these fics would NOT work in a longer chapter. Take my last update, for example. The extreme detail with times makes you chuckle, but I feel like it would get old really quickly, especially in a 3k page chapter like many (really amazing) authors do. There haven't been complaints or anything, all my reviews from you guys have been wonderful, but I just thought I'd explain, because I know it bothers me when I read extremely short chapters.**

"This one looks interesting!" Chat said, pointing to a story, "It's called The Evillistrator Fight. Sounds interesting, right?"

"Sure, Chat." Ladybug said, smiling slightly. "Let's read it."

 **Ladybug rushed to the scene of the akuma, bursting through the doors off the hotel. There, she saw a sight that terrified her: Evilistrator senselessly attacking her best friend**

"Oh no! He's attacking me!" cried Chat Noir.

"Yeah, right." Ladybug said.

Chat slouched despondently.

"I'm joking," Ladybug laughed, "You're definitely one of my best friends, but I don't think that you're who this is referring too."

Chat perked up immediately. "Maybe it's Marinette?" he offered, "You know her well enough that she can contact you, and she was there for a lot of Evillistrator."

Ladybug coughed violently. "Let's just keep reading."

 **Chloe!**

"NOOO!"

 **(Chloe Bourgeois, the daughter of Mayor Bourgeois, owner of the most prestigious hotel in Paris.)**

"Gee, really?"

 **Horrified,**

Ladybug scoffed.

 **she threw her you around Evillistrator's waist, hurling him into the wall.**

 **"Are you ok?" she cried to Chloe, "Why is he after you?"**

 **"I didn't do anything!" Chloe replied prettily,**

"That's a weird adjective to use there…" Chat said, frowning. It kind of takes away from the story, don't you think?"

 **"I just commented on his choice to have a crush on** ** _Marinette._**

 **Ladybug scoffed. Who could ever have a crush on Marinette? She was bratty, uncultured, and stubborn.**

"Hey!" Chat complained, "Marinette is nice!"

He looked over at Ladybug, expecting her usual complaints about Chloe, but instead saw a smiling lighting up her face.

And, it must be darker than he realized, because there's no way that he sees a blush on her face….

 **"But what is even worse is that he ruined my hair!" Chloe complained justly and bravely.**

Ladybug shook her head. "I don't even want to comment about the dialogue tags."

 **Ladybug glanced at Chloe's hair in shock, gasping when she noticed the hairs falling out of the usually perfect ponytail.**

 **Furious, Ladybug ran over to Evilistrator, punching him in the face before easily breaking his akumatized pen and making him revert back to his original loser self.**

"Hey! Nathaniel is not a loser!" both superheroes protested together.

 **Then, Ladybug's mangy**

"He's not mangy!"

 **partner Chat Noir flew in through a window, late and panting, and began throwing rubber balls all over Chloe's room.**

 **It was a** ** _cat_** **astrophe.**

"Who wrote this?" Ladybug demanded. "I hated it!"

Chat scrolled up to see the author and soon, understanding dawned on his face. "It appears to have been Chloe herself. That explains a lot."

"It certainly does." Ladybug agreed with a slightly unladylike humph. "I'll see you tomorrow, same time, same place."

"Until the next time, m'lady."

 **So, it wasn't very funny, but I did get a lot of requests for Chloe to make an appearance as an author, so, I tried. It was really fun to write, as always, but I did get some weird looks at school. Oh well. ; )**


	9. Chapter 9

**I've gotten a lot of requests for them to react to a good fanfic. I tried my best, but, as you will soon see, I'm not the best writer. Also, from now on, so it's easier to differentiate between the reactions and the fanfic, the story will be italicized. Enjoy!**

"This one was written by Alya!" Chat said, pointing out one of the stories from the list.

Noticing Ladybug's look, he continued, "I know that it'll be romantic, but at least you know it'll be well-written."

"I'm going to regret this," Ladybug muttered. "Fine."

 ** _The Typical End of an Akuma Battle by Alya_**

 ** _Ladybug brushed a strand of black-blue hair off her face, breathing heavily. The fight had been difficult, but nothing she and Chat Noir couldn't handle._**

"As always," said a certain cat smugly.

 ** _After allowing herself another second to recognize the exhaustion, she straightened back up, setting her face back to the look of confidence and determination every citizen of Paris knew and admired._**

"I don't have a look!"

"Yes, you do."

 ** _Relishing the last of her adrenaline, Ladybug reached her fist out to her partner._**

 ** _"Pound it!"_**

 ** _Chat Noir dropped his arm down to his sides after the traditional fist bump, feeling, as always, the tingling sensation in his hand which meant that his lady had touched him._**

Both superheroes blushed.

 ** _He discreetly grinned at the hint of her flower-and-cookies scent_**

Chat smiled. Alya's description was accurate, Ladybug smelled flowery and sugary sweet and chocolatey.

 ** _he caught whenever she was near him._**

 ****Ladybug glared suspiciously at Chat Noir. "You better not have sniffed me before," she accused.

Chat winced.

 ** _Man, he was in love with this girl. Each playful nudge, dazzling smile, witty comment, and akuma battle made him fall a little bit more. It didn't help matters that she was drop dead gorgeous._**

 _"This is so accurate,"_ Chat Noir thought to himself _, "Alya really has me figured out."_

 _"This is so inaccurate,"_ Ladybug complained to herself, _"Chat never thinks like this."_

 ** _Ladybug glanced quizzically at her partner, who had been staring at her as if in a trance, grinning widely. She rolled her eyes with a gentle smile on her face and clapped her hands hard next to his ear._**

"Hey!"

 ** _He leapt backwards, startled._**

 ** _"Oh my gosh!" Ladybug burst out, "Did you just hiss?!"_**

 ** _"No!" he protested vehemently, but the pink hue decorating his cheeks suggested a different answer._**

"BWA ha ha ha!" Ladybug burst out, laughing loudly, "You _hissed_!"

"It's not that funny."

 ** _"You dork," Ladybug said fondly, reaching out a hand to tap him on his nose._**

 ** _Chat grinned widely and leaned close to her, "But I'm_** ** _your_** ** _dork, m'lady."_**

 ****Unbeknownst to the other, both superheroes smiled at the truth in the statement.

 ** _Ladybug shrugged noncommittedly and tapped at her miraculous. "Time's up. See you next time, Chat Noir."_**

 ** _As Ladybug soared onto the roof and bounded off, Chat Noir stared after her with his typical lovestruck expression._**

"I've seen that expression before."

 ** _Another akuma defeated._**

 ****"I actually liked that one," Ladybug said, "We weren't totally out of character, no one died, and Alya writes pretty well."

"I didn't like that I hissed," Chat said, still annoyed at the embarrassingly great amount that Ladybug enjoyed the situation, "But it really wasn't too bad."

 **AN: And this concludes my attempt to write well. Hope you enjoyed! I'll probably publish another chapter, because SPRING BREAK Y'ALL!**


	10. Chapter 10

**_Chat Noir glared out at the Paris skyline from the window of his penthouse suite. He moaned loudly and dramatically._**

"That's gloomy…" Chat said, "I'm typically pretty positive."

 ** _"I am so full of agony and pain."_**

"Drama queen," Ladybug muttered under her breath.

"Hey!"

 ** _He exclaimed to the leaden grey skies._**

 ** _Chat Noir started to pace up and down his bedroom. The room mirrored his feelings there was black everywhere. Black leather walls_**

"Leather walls?"

 ** _a black canopy bed black marble floors and large black geode crystal sculptures._**

"That is so hideous! You have terrible taste in design!"

"It's not actually me!"

 ** _"What I have just discovered is terrifying and agonizing it will rock the world, change my life completely, because all that I have built is descending into smithereens" Chat cried out in haunting anguished tones to his beautiful third cousin's sister's daughter's niece Ladybug._**

"Third cousin's sister's daughter's niece? At that point are we actually related? Why do they know this?!" Chat demanded.

 ** _"What is it my dear aunt's mother's sister's third cousin Chat Noir?_**

"Do they say this whole list every time they talk to each other! That is so inconvenient!"

 ** _What has distressed you in this way and caused you heart to be so heavy and your eyes to be so dark?" said the fair Ladybug from a dimly lit corner of the dark room._**

"We get it! The room is dark- move on!"

 ** _Chat Noir slouched broodily against the wall and then allowed himself to slide slowly to the floor._**

 ** _"I have just discovered that my father is Hawkmoth" He whispered softly and despairingly, his green eye bleak and full of sorrow._**

"Yeah right, Chat Noir said, "Like my father could ever be Hawkmoth."

 ** _"WWWWHHHHAAAATTTT!" shrieked Ladybug- her face was the picture of heartbreak and dismay, "My aunt's mother's sisters' third cousin's father is also my arch nemesis!"_**

"He's my father, apparently!" Chat said, "It's not that much of a shocker."

 ** _"How will I cope to know with each battle I come closer to face a relative my aunt's mother's sisters' third cousin's father has always been dear to me if I should have to fight him I would die" Ladybug threw herself on the ground and wailed cries of heartbreak and despair and treacherous choices and heartrending moral decisions tore out of her._**

"This Ladybug seems to have out of control emotions. What is even happening right now!?" Ladybug said, growing more annoyed as the story continued.

 ** _"I cannot fight my aunt's mother's sisters' third cousin's father, I cannot._**

"Deal with it!" Ladybug yelled at the screen.

"Calm down a bit, m'lady. It's just a story."

 ** _How dare you wail so Ladybug" Cried Chat Noir with a cry of brooding rage and fury_**

"Well, obviously." Chat Noir said jokingly. "I mean I never cry things out without brooding rage and fury.

 ** _"He is my father do you think you can ever come close to know what horrendous pain assails me." Chat's eyes bored holes into the hapless Ladybug._**

 ** _"You have never cared for anyone but yourself Ladybug I have confided in me in my hour of greatest need in hope the you could console my and heal my tortured soul but once again you have decided that it is all about you."_**

"That escalated quickly."

 ** _Chat eyes had a glint of madness and disperse about them._**

 ** _"Forgive me my dear Chat I did not mean to offend you so. Curse my self-severing heart and foolish mind!"_**

 ** _"It is alright my dear cousin's sister's daughter's niece"_**

"Wow, dramatic mood change."

 ** _"Shall we prepared to battle our twisted and diabolical relative"_**

 ** _"We shall!" said Ladybug, her grey eyes glinting like flecks of steeling ice with ice cold determination._**

 ** _Ladybug and Chat Noir donned their costumes, capes billowing in the wind as they bounded out of the window to do battle with their twisted and diabolical relative. They wept purely for their lost relation, who could have been so great…_**

"I have to admit," Chat said, "It's pretty bad, but I'm starting to really enjoy these. _Cat_ ch you later, m'lady."

 **AN: So, it's been a while. Sorry about that. But, my friend/ co-writer and I are both done school, so you won't have to wait many months for the next one, I promise. I love all your ideas, even if there are some I don't know if I can ever write, I love all the comments.**

 **As always, follow, favorite, review, and send in ideas for stories.**


	11. Chapter 11

_**In which Ladybug and Chat Are Real Animals and They Live on a Farm**_

 _ **The Farm was a perfect paradise. It had sweeping meadows filled with clover and orchards and apples trees and herb gardens and everything else a farm should have.**_

"What does this have to do with Paris, akumas, or us?" Ladybug asked.

 _ **It was a bit of the 1800's persevered in modern day. The owners being wise benevolent people shunned the use of machinery and preferred to till their fields the way their ancestors had.**_

"That seems less like they're wise and more like they're inefficient."

 _ **In this perfect paradise, free from the effect of horrid technologies like the smart phone and computer,**_

"Isn't fanfiction written on a computer? This person is such a hypocrite!" Ladybug said, already annoyed.

 _ **lived a black cat Chat Noir and his friend Ladybug.**_

"We're animals!" Chat yelled, "I am NOT an animal!"

"Could've fooled me."

"Hey!"

 _ **You might think that a normally predatory animal like a cat would not be friends with a Ladybug, but you would be wrong.**_

"No, you would be scientifically accurate." Ladybug corrected.

 _ **For in the perfect paradise that was the farm even normally vicious creatures like cats**_

"I don't know what cat this author has met, but most cats aren't that vicious."

 _ **lived in harmony with nature and did not hunt smaller more delicate creatures like ladybugs. No on the perfect paradise that was the farm even cats were vegetarians.**_

"This farm sounds like communist dystopia." (AN: Shout out to those who have read George Orwells' Animal Farm)

 _ **The Chat and the Ladybug were having a conversation it went like this.**_

" _ **Oh Chat, it is such a beautiful day the air is so warm, and the grass is so green. Our lives are so happy because we live on the perfect paradise that is The Farm" the ladybug exclaimed in a rejoicing tone of voice.**_

"Have you noticed that the farm is capitalized and is ALWAYS referred as the perfect paradise? Has this person ever lived on an 19th century farm, because it is not quite what they seem to think…"

" _ **Why yes indeed Ladybug we are very happy here. If only the rest of the world could see how wicked their industrial modern ways are**_

"WHAT!"

 _ **and return to the way, they lived in the year 1800 then they would be as happy as we are." The chat exclaimed in a tone of voice that imparted wisdom and was magnanimous.**_

" _ **Yes, Chat the rest of the world does not understand that in order to be happy and at peace they must leave technology behind." exclaimed the ladybug in a tone of voice that showcased her deep intelligence and thorough understanding of the universe.**_

 _ **The two friend's deep discussion on philosophy of how live correctly was interrupted by the arrival of their archenemies Hawkmoth. Hawkmoth was a foolish moth who thought that technological advancement was a good thing and the farm should modernize. Hawkmoth clung to this misguided belief because he didn't know anything deep about the environment or the nature of reality like Ladybug and Chat did.**_

"I hate to say it, but Hawkmoth is much more intelligent than us in this."

" _ **Hello Hawkmoth" said Chat in tones the emphasized his desire to rip Hawkmoth to shreds for being so irrational. Although Chat was a vegetarian and would never harm another creature intentionally He just might make an exception to his pacifist moral for scum of the earth like Hawkmoth.**_

" _ **Hawkmoth have you decide to give up your evil technological ways and join us was we roam the perfect paradise that is The Farm in blissful freedom." Exclaimed the ladybug.**_

"Why is everyone exclaiming everything! Has this author never heard of a thesaurus?!"

" _ **Never" exclaimed the moth "I shall never relinquish my unending love and passion for technology. Nor shall I give up on the desire for The Farm to join the modern world"**_

 _ **The two friends stare at him in shock and horror.**_

"Why! Why are they staring at him in shock and horror! He didn't say he wanted to destroy the farm, he just wants to make it more productive! What is wrong with these people!" Chat said, "I don't understand what this author was thinking!"

 _ **Was he really unable to recognize the wisdom of their benevolent life philosophy? At that exact moment an eagle swooped down from the skies and devoured Hawkmoth whole.**_

"That was a convenient deus ex machina."

" _ **He deserved it" exclaimed the chat "He was heartless and cruel and loved technology more than the beauties of nature.**_

"They are such hypocrites! Wasn't the author going on about their perfect pacifism?"

" _ **Oh yes" exclaimed Ladybug "his gory death delighted me for it was well deserved."**_

"These people are psychopaths!"

 _ **And then the two friends turned and walked back up to the perfect paradise that was The Farm.**_

 **The first time I posted this it was code, and I don't know what happened. Sorry! Hopefully this time it works!**


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: Short update again! Yay! Thanks for all the nice reviews, hope you enjoy!**

 ** _Ladybug and Chat were in a hopeless situation, the latest villain the "Guy Who Was Able Turn_**

 ** _Everyone into an Army of Mindless Slaves"_**

"Wow, that name is rather uncreative. Hawkmoth is running out of ideas."

"How come all of the villains can turn people into mindless slaves. Darkblade, the Pharaoh, Princess Fragrance- this happens all the time!"

 ** _had them trapped in a corner and completely out- numbered._**

 ** _"Oh Chat" squealed Ladybug_**

"I do NOT squeal!" Ladybug protested, "Why am I always weak in fanfiction!?"

 ** _in high pitched tones of pure agony and terror "We are surely going to die here in this accursed place."_**

 ** _She then flung herself dramatically into his arms and started weeping. Chat looked mildly uncomfortable with the fact that a girl who he did not have any romantic feelings for had just thrown herself into his arms._**

"I would absolutely love for you to throw yourself into my arms, Ladybug." Chat said, winking.

Ladybug rolled her eyes.

 ** _Nonetheless, he tried to comfort the shrieking and panicked Ladybug._**

 ** _"Don't worry Ladybug I am sure someone will come to help us." Chat said soothingly, even though he knew in his heart that she was right they were indeed very close to dying._**

 ** _"No one can help you now!" laughed the Guy Who was Able to Turn Everyone Into Mindless Slaves, "You must give me your miraculous!"_**

 ** _"Not if I have anything to say about it!" shouted a voice from the rooftops._**

 ** _Serenity Serilda Amaris Chiara Elqenna Tremaine, better known as the superhero the Lilac Wolf, arrived to save the day. Serenity had wolf powers which gave her the ability to run at extraordinary speeds, leap great distances, see through walls, and lift things using telekinesis._**

"What does that have to do with wolves? Also, why is she so powerful?" Ladybug said, annoyed again at fanfiction.

 ** _She was exceptionally beautiful with long flowing red hair like a waterfall of fire and huge turquoise eyes that reflected the beautiful depths of the ocean. Chat Noir took one look at her and fell completely in love. He could not take his eyes off the breathtaking beauty that was Serenity_**

 ** _with her fiery hair and eyes like crystal pools of water._**

"Didn't we already get that description?"

 ** _Ladybug noticed his admiring gaze and was instantly shot through with envy. She had a childish crush on Chat Noir and bitterly resented anyone who might come between him and her._**

"I do not have a crush on Chat Noir! Why is this so hard for the authors to grasp?! We are just friends!"

Chat winced and looked down.

 ** _Ladybug felt inferior and jealous, as Serenity's perfect form and hair were far superior to hers._**

"Hey!"

 ** _The Lilac Wolf started walking down the street towards the Guy Who Was Able Turn Everyone into an Army of Mindless Slaves. He reached out his hand confidently to put her in his mind controlling spell as well, but she did not obey._**

 ** _"My pure love for my friends and my city keep me from your grasp." She said proudly, "You cannot control me!"_**

"That makes no sense!"

 ** _The air around the Lilac Wolf started to sparkle blue green and she felt unstoppable power coursing through her veins. The Lilac Wolf used the magic of love_**

"The magic of love? That's so vague! Why does she have so many powers anyway?"

 ** _to throw a ball of lighting at the villain, vaporizing him instantly._**

"Did she just kill that guy!"

 ** _Immediately everyone who had been mind-controlled regained their ability to think clearly and control their actions._**

"Because she killed an innocent man!"

 ** _Of course, they flocked over to Serenity Serilda Amaris Chiara Elqenna Tremaine and showered her with profuse thank. After her mob of adoring fans had left, she walked over to Ladybug and Chat Noir._**

 ** _"Hello, I am the superhero known as the Lilac Wolf" she said a melodious and sonorous voice._**

 ** _The ruggedly handsome Chat smile kindly at her, "We thank you for recusing us oh beautiful and clever one. Your quick and cunning defeat of the Guy Who Was Able Turn Everyone into an Army of Mindless Slaves saved us all. Would you be willing to join our team? Together we can help defend Paris from the attacks of super villains." He said, his voice reflecting his immediate crush on the beautiful girl._**

"Why am I falling for this girl so fast?"

 ** _"Absolutely not" shrieked Ladybug "You and I have been partners forever, Chat. You can't just_**

 ** _add a new person to our group with asking me first!" Ladybug finished talking and started to glare_**

 ** _daggers of hate and envy at the Lilac Wolf._**

"Why is this Ladybug so petty and bratty?"

 ** _Serenity kindly back at Ladybug. It was clear that she was only acting this way because she was jealous of the Lilac Wolfs power and loveliness._**

 ** _"I would be honored to be a part of your team, Chat." said Serenity Serilda Amaris Chiara_**

 ** _Elqenna Tremaine._**

"Stop listing out her whole name!"

 ** _"Cool, welcome to the team." said Chat in a voice that showed how truly excited and thrilled he was to have such an intelligent and charming girl become part of his team._**

"How is she intelligent and charmed? All she's said is hello and that she's a superhero

 ** _Ladybug looked very angry but no one cared about her opinion because she was not as clever or_**

 ** _beautiful as Serenity was._**

"Ladybug is gorgeous and witty and smart and fun! This author is the worst!" Chat yelled.

Ladybug grinned at Chat, "Thanks, but it's only a story. My ego isn't too hurt."

Chat smiled back. "I have to defend my lady's honor sometimes."

Ladybug and Chat stared into each other's eyes for a moment, then looked away, both blushing slightly.

A couple of seconds passed in silence. Ladybug shook herself out of her daze, and turned back to Chat.

"Let's read another story."

 **AN: Hope you enjoyed the slight Ladynoir moment. I couldn't resist :) As always, favorite, follow, and leave your suggestions for story ideas!**


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: Hi all! Enjoy!**

 ** _Ladybug had a dreadful and terrible secret that she would never dare to tell anyone._**

"Oh the drama!" Ladybug said, "To be perfectly honest, my deepest secret is that I'm Ladybug, and that's not too dreadful."

 ** _She was in love with her mortal enemy Hawkmoth._**

"WHAT!" screamed Ladybug and Chat together.

"THAT IS NOT TRUE!" Ladybug ranted, "I DON'T KNOW WHO CAME UP WITH THIS, BUT WE WILL BE HAVING WORDS!"

 ** _She had known him since he was a child before he had become a creature of darkness and twisted evil._**

"Not true…"

 ** _Back in their long-forgotten youth_**

"Forgotten by me too, apparently," Ladybug muttered.

 ** _he had been her dearest companion. But as he grew older his hunger for power had twisted his heart and corrupted his soul._**

"Why are villains always hungry for power?" asked Chat, "Can't they ever be content with a sandwich like the rest of us?"

"That's why they're supervillains, Chat. They're power hungry."

"I know, I'm just saying."

 ** _Still she could not help loving him, even now._**

"I do NOT love Hawkmoth!"

"Compared to this story, the fanfictions with our romance seems pretty good now, don't they m'lady?"

 ** _For he retained the brilliant mind and fiery soul that had so attracted her to him when she had first known him. Ladybug knew that her beloved Hawkmoth no longer cared for her, but still she loved him. Fighting Hawkmoth was agony for her on one hand she must do her upmost to protect the innocent people of Paris. On the other hand, she was terrified of hurting her only love. Yet fight him she did and she would continue to do so. For as long as Hawkmoth's heart stayed on this dark path they could never be together._**

"Even if his heart was on the light path we couldn't be together! We don't know who Hawkmoth is, so who knows how old he is! Yuck!"

 ** _Far on the other side of Paris the lonely tortured Hawkmoth thought of his delicate friend_**

 ** _Ladybug. Where had he gone so wrong; they had been the very best of friends as children._**

"Not true!"

 ** _But as they had grown older that bond had been torn apart._**

"You said that already!"

 ** _Now they were engaging in a never ending and deadly struggle with one another. Hawkmoth would never admit it to anyone, but he was in love with Ladybug and had been since he was a little child. If she could only see his side of things and understand why he needed to possess ultimate power, then perhaps they could be together. But no, she had been horrified by his insatiable desire for power and his need to attain it no matter what the cost._**

"Stop angsting! If you want to be friends, don't have an insatiable desire for power! It's not that complicated!"

 ** _Ladybug had always been so good and honorable._**

"Thank you!"

 ** _She had always tried to stand up for the weak and helpless; those with no power for themselves. It was one of the reasons why he loved her, but it also was what had torn them apart. Hawkmoth did love his Ladybug_**

"HIS Ladybug!" yelled Chat, "She is not his!"

 ** _but he loved power more._**

 ** _The two doomed lovers looked out at the stars and contemplated their fates._**

"Oh the angst, the drama, the cliché!'

 ** _They were destined to remained locked in struggle until one of them emerged victorious but that didn't stop them from wishing that things could be different._**

"What twisted mind came up with this! There is NO love between Hawkmoth and I!"

"Some people are just weird, Ladybug." Said Chat, "I mean it could be more cliché- he could be one of our fathers."


	14. Chapter 14

**_Ladybug woke up in a fright, today was the day she would find out who her husband would be._**

Chat opened his mouth to protest, and glanced over at Ladybug, expecting to see a similar look of disgust on her face. However, he was surprised to see that she just looked resigned.

Ladybug noticed his staring and shrugged. "At this point, I'm not even surprised that I'm getting married to some random dude off the street. I'm just hoping it's not Hawkmoth."

 **** ** _The horrendous death toll of the recent akuma attacks_**

"Horrendous death toll? Does Ladybug not have a miraculous cleanse in this universe?'

 ** _had caused the government of Paris to decree that all unwed adults in the city must marry a government mandated spouse._**

 ** _Today Ladybug would have to go to the Paris Center for Control and Restriction of Civilian Lives_**

"Subtle."

 ** _and be matched with her new husband. This law was very recent and had come as a bit of a shock to the population of Paris. However, most people had taken it in stride and some were even excited about it._**

"They're probably being mind-controlled," Ladybug suggested.

 ** _Ladybug decided that the reason that no one in Paris bothered to protest the passage of the mandatory marriage law was because the evil government that ran the city was sending out mind-controlling rays_**

"Called it! I'm actually fairly in character, for once."

 **** ** _to prevent its citizens from rebelling. Ladybug left her house and walked quickly through the dark and desolate streets of the city over to the Paris Center for Control and Restriction of Civilian Lives. As she walked, she kept wishing she lived in a place where people would rebel if an evil and repressive government tried to take over their lives._**

"That's a pretty legitimate wish."

 **** ** _She reached the Paris Center for Control and Restriction of Civilian Lives. It was a dark and ominous looking building standing a full twenty stories tall every inch of its surface was covered with think black spikes and there were gun turrets on the roof._**

"Harsh.'

 **** ** _Ladybug swallowed her fear walked through the large heavy doors and quickly went up to up to the women sitting behind the sinister and imposing front desk._**

 ** _"_** ** _Hello, I am here to be paired with my ideal spouse" said Ladybug trying and utterly failing to sound like some sort of ideal citizen who actual thought this mandated marriage law was a good idea. "Yes" said the woman in tones that showed that she thought that the mandated marriage law was a truly brilliant idea "which method would you like to use."_**

 ** _"_** ** _Method?" questioned Ladybug. "We have three different methods for assigning spouses. The Lottery where it is completely up to random chance, Divination we read the entrails of slaughtered pig for that,_**

"I don't even know how to respond to that."

 ** _and Psychology, where you are paired with someone based on your answers to personality test questions." the desk woman said, and you could tell from the way that she spoke that she thought these were all perfectly reasonable ways for someone to find their spouse. "Uh, psychology I guess" said Ladybug, her voice clearly showed her utter lack of faith in the government's ability to find her soulmate. "Alright come with me then" the woman's tones clearly showing her complete belief in the governments system for pairing people together._**

 _"_ By the way, can I comment on the fact that this author has clearly never heard of word choice! Every line of dialogue ends with the phrase, "their voice showing!"

 ** _Ladybug followed the woman into a room lit with menacingly brightly light at the far end of it was a small black computer. She was seated at the computer and told to answer the questions on the screen. When she was done filling out all the questions she would be told who the husband she had been matched with was. Ladybug stared at the computer screen on it was a list of fifty questions. Some were normal such as "What is your favorite color"_**

"Pink."

 ** _and "Are you an introvert or an extrovert."_**

"Extrovert, but socially inept and awkward."

 **** ** _Some were strange "If you had to choose between being drowned in whipped cream of smothered in butter which would you choose."_**

"That is a really bizarre question… I'm not sure."

"Why are you even answering these questions," Chat asked, "You seem weirdly calm right now."

"I might as well have a little bit of fun before I'm married, don't you think?" Ladybug said, winking.

 ** _Some difficult "What is the 94_** ** _th_** ** _element on the period table"_**

"Plutonium," answered Chat immediately.

Ladybug glanced at him, surprised, and he grinned back.

 ** _and "Please write an essay explain whether you think romanticism or impressionism is better as an art movement." Some were just plain weird "draw a picture of yourself and three elephants jumping on a trampoline."_**

Ladybug scratched a couple stick figures into the dirt on the building they were sitting on.

 ** _Ladybug finished answering her questions she wondered how this test could possibly be a good way to find her life partner._**

"That's because it's not a good way to find your life partner."

 ** _She waited while the computer searched government database to find her perfect match. She had to wait a long-time- governments being what they are are never very efficient. After what seemed like hours, her results came back. "Chat Noir" she said to herself "well at least his name sounds nice."_**

"YES!" Chat yelled, "I think I'm going to like this story."

Ladybug shrugged, "At least it's not Hawkmoth."

 **AN: This chapter is special because (drum roll please) it will be CONTINUED! (No guarantees on the order- there will probably be filler chapters in between).**


	15. Chapter 15

**So, it definitely has been a while. I apologize and offer up no excuse. I'm not done with this yet, though!**

 ** _Chat Noir stared at Ladybug she looked to be about 4 or 5 years old._**

"I see what you mean, Ladybug," said Chat Noir, "I'm not even surprised anymore."

 ** _She was ridiculously cute with huge eyes and chubby cheeks that you just wanted to squeeze._**

"Aww…"

Ladybug glared.

 ** _They had been fighting with a villain who was capable of changing a person's age. They had defeated him at the cost of Ladybug turning into a child._**

"This person doesn't seem to understand how my powers work. If the akuma was defeated, I would be cured."

 ** _"Chat" said child Ladybug looking up at him with the most innocent round eyes in existence. "I'm hungry."_**

 ** _Chat stared down at the child and wondered does she need baby food at this age or has she progressed beyond that stage yet?_**

"I'm five, not six months."

 ** _"Yes," he replied apprehensively "what would you like to eat."_**

 ** _"Pizza" Ladybug giggled in a sweet childish manner._**

"You sound almost as adorable as a baby as you are now, m'lady."

"That's a little creepy, Chat."

 ** _"Pizza?" said Chat questioning whether such a young child could eat pizza._**

"They can."

 ** _"Yes!" said Ladybug all the while looking up at him with imploring eyes._**

 ** _"Alright" said Chat unable to say no to Ladybugs puppy dog eyes even though he had serious doubts as to whether a child of 5 could eat pizza_**

"THEY CAN."

 ** _"Let's go eat pizza."_**

 ** _Chat carried Ladybug through Paris toward his favorite pizza place. He was unsure of whether 5 year olds were capable of walking long distances so he had to carry her._**

"I can't tell if you're really overprotective or just really dumb," Ladybug commented.

 ** _When they got to the pizza parlor he immediately asked the woman at the ordering counter if it was acceptable for five year olds to eat pizza._**

Seeing Ladybug's murderous glare at the story, Chat said, "In fictional-me's defense, I'm never really around kids."

 ** _After she said yes he ordered a medium sized cheese pizza. Chat cut Ladybugs pizza into little pieces. He could remember his mother doing that for him when he was little so he wouldn't choke on his food. Ladybug ate the pizza happily looking huggable"_**

"Ew! I'm five!"

"Not in that way!" Chat protested, bright red.

 ** _and sweet the entire time despite getting herself ridiculously dirty in the process. Chat carefully cleaned Ladybugs face. As he stared into her innocent blue eyes his heart was suddenly overcome with ridiculous affection for this child. A rush of fatherly pride_**

"I'm sorry- fatherly!?"

 ** _filled his heart he would take care of child Ladybug no matter what the cost._**

 ** _"You know what Ladybug I have decided to adopt you and train you to be my superhero apprentice how does that sound"_**

"Horrible!" both heroes shouted, startling several pigeons and a very confused pedestrian.

 ** _said Chat in tones that displayed his obvious lack of knowledge about the difficulties of the adoption process and the difficulties of raising children in general._**

"Don't you dare adopt me, Chat Noir!" Ladybug shouted, slightly shrilly (although can you really blame her).

Chat Noir decided not to point out the crowd of people gathering to gawk at a very angry Ladybug.

 ** _"Sounds good Chat" said Ladybug sweetly and cheerfully blue eyes round with a complete lack of understanding about what Chat had just said meant for her life._**

"It's just a dumb story," Chat said, placing a comforting hand on Ladybug's shoulder.

"I know. Honestly, it's sort of fun getting all worked up over these fanfics though."

"Fair enough."


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: The school year is finally over so I can actually update again! Yay! Thanks for sticking with the story!**

"Ok, Chat, I think I've got a good one." Ladybug said as she scrolled through the Ladyblog.

Chat leaned over her shoulder to read the title.

"Are you sure about this Ladybug? The title is _The Adventrues of Minou Noir and Bug Boy,_ and adventures isn't even spelled correctly. That can't be a good sign."

Ladybug shrugged, "It could be fun though."

 ** _Authors note: Ok guyz I just think my darling perfect baby Chat noir_**

Ladybug laughed at Chat's horror-stricken expression. "It's not that bad, Chat!"

"Fangirls," Chat said, shuddering, "They're insane."

 ** _would be such a prety gurl_**

"What! No, I wouldn't! Why me?"

Ladybug looked at Chat thoughtfully. "I can see it." She said, smiling slightly.

 **** ** _and so here it goesz_**

"That isn't how you spell that."

 ** _Minou Noir tossed her luscious blond hair over her shoulder and winked flirtatiously at Bug boy._**

"At least I'm just as gorgeous as a girl as I am now."

 **** ** _Hey bug boy she flirted coyly, how are you doing today?_**

"Ever heard of quotation marks?"

 ** _Bug boy rolled his sky blue eyez at minou noir and said I wuz_**

"This person clearly thinks that the letter z is used more often than it is.

 ** _doing well until you came along._**

"I'm apparently not a very nice boy." Ladybug commented.

 ** _Minou batted her eyelashes "You could never break my heart, Buggy boo"_**

"At least I'm still in love with you." Chat said. "Even the most horrible of fanfictions cannot break our bond."

"Apparently." Ladybug grumbled under her breath.

 ** _Pai attention to the akuma minou! Exclaimed Bug boy._**

"Yeah, Chat Noir, pay attention to the akuma!"

"But it's so much more fun fighting an akuma when I'm talking to you, Bugaboo."

 **** ** _He tossed his dark hair out of his eyes and looked over at the akuma._**

 ** _The akuma went up to Minou Noir and smiled "hey minou why don't you ditch bug boy and go on a date with me?_**

"Never!" Chat protested, "I am loyal to m'lady, even when she's a man!"

 ** _Minou twirled her staff and grinned, "Never! I fight the forces of evil no matter what!"_**

"That was pretty cliché, Chat." Ladybug commented dryly." Now all you need is a cape."

 ** _The akuma was really offended and he started to cry,_**

"Chat, you're such a heartbreaker!"

 ** _"_** ** _But Minou, Bug Boy never pays attention to you and I luv you so much."_**

"That's true, Chat. I never pay attention to you. You should run off with the akuma."

"I am utterly faithful to you, Ladybug." Chat proclaimed, "My heart aches at the thought of being with another!"

"Be careful, Chat, you're starting to sound like we're in a fanfiction."

 ** _Bug Boy punched the akuma with his muscled arm while Minou cataclysmed the akuma's hat. The day was saved._**

"That was anticlimactic."

 ** _Bug Boy turned to Minou Noir and said "Minou I'm sorry I never paid attentton to you. But, I'm in love with a pretty blond girl who goes to my school. She's a model._**

Ladybug internally winced, surprised at how similar the fanfiction was to reality.

Chat rolled his eyes. "I'm a much better _cat_ ch than a model, Ladybug!"

 ** _Minou Noir took off her mask and Bug boy gasped- Minou Noir was the girl he loved!_**

"That's pretty convenient. That would never happen in real life."

 **** ** _Minou and Bug Boy kissed and cried._**

"And cried?" Chat asked.

"You must not be a very good kisser, Chat."

Chat mock gasped. "I'm hurt, m'lady. My kisses are _purr_ fect."

"You've used that pun already, Chat."

 **AN: In case you didn't realize, the spelling errors were intentional. Please follow, favorite, review, and leave suggestions for new badfics! Even if I can't write them all, I love your input!**


	17. Chapter 17

AN: I'm making no excuses for lateness, so please enjoy!

 ** _As twilight faded into night, and the moon shone its gentle light on the lovers of Paris, Ladybug and Chat Noir stood together, leaning on a balcony._**

"Oh great," Ladybug sighed, "This is going to be shipping us again, isn't it? How long will it take people to realize- we're just partners!"

"They think we could be more, m'lady. Don't you think that's a sign?"

 **** ** _They were enjoying a quick respite from the noise of the ball that Mayor Bourgeois was throwing in their honor._**

 ** _Ladybug wore a delicate and lacy black mask, embezzled_**

"I think they mean embellished. Embezzled means to steal money..."

 ** _with small, glimmering rubies. Her dress was a light and smooth satin, colored slightly deeper red than her usual suit, with just the slightest floral rose pattern etched in black. Her waistband was pitch black, made of a delicate silk that emphasized her small waist._**

"This is quite descriptive."

 ** _The black lace-trimmed sleeves fell slightly off her shoulder, highlighting her pale cheekbones. The dress brushed down to her feet, which were encased in strappy, heeled black sandals, with a slight heel._**

"Why are they still describing this? It's taking away from the story at this point!"

 ** _Her hair was curled and swirled into an updo, a startling change from her usual pigtails. Her dark hair was accented by rubies that looked like roses._**

"Ignoring the fact that the description of my outfit was half of this story- how rich do they think I am? My mask and hair are covered in rubies!"

 ** _Ladybug turned to look at Chat. His hair was tidier than normal, and she couldn't help but notice that it had the golden glow of a wheat field. His emerald green tie brought out sparkles in his eyes. His tux accented his slim frame and served to make him look even more mature and attractive._**

Chat wiggled his eyebrows. "Apparently all I need to do is wear a tux."

Ladybug sighed. "No matter what you wear, Chat, you will never look mature."

 ** _Ladybug put her head on his shoulder. Gently, Chat grabbed her chin and turned her head toward him before leaning in for a kiss._**

 ** _As their lips collided, Ladybug felt sparks. Chat's lips were gentle and soft, and she never wanted the moment to end._**

Ladybug winced. "Reading detailed descriptions of us kissing will always be uncomfortable."

To her surprise, Chat nodded in agreement.

 ** _As they kissed, Chat grasped her hand, and she melted into his touch. They pulled away, and Chat brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and grinned._**

 ** _"_** ** _I knew you'd fall for me eventually," he said, "It's the tux, isn't it?"_**

 ** _Ladybug laughed, grabbed him by the tie and pulled him in for another kiss._**

"Confirmed- I need a tux!" Chat decided.

 **** ** _As their lips met for a second time, Ladybug couldn't help but feel intoxicated with love_**

"BOO!"

 **** ** _as soft music played in the background._**

 ** _"_** ** _What are you doing!" a shrill voice demanded._**

 ** _Ladybug and Chat Noir broke apart and turned to face Rena Rouge._**

"Rena does NOT have a shrill voice!"

 ** _Rena wore a tight-fitting orange dress with a plunging neckline. The dress had a white stripe down the middle and was trimmed with white lace._**

"Another clothing description!"

 **** ** _She wore orange stiletto heels clearly intended to show off her legs. Her hair was straightened and cascaded down her back._**

"I cannot believe they made Al-, Rena into a stereotypical mean girl!"

 ** _Rena Rouge had always had a blatant unrequited crush on Chat._**

"Don't worry, Ladybug, my heart only belongs to you!"

 ** _"_** ** _I'm kissing the love of my life," Chat replied, "Do you have a problem with that?"_**

"Yes!"

"No!"

 ** _And with those final words, Chat turned back to Ladybug and swept her in for another kiss._**

 ** _Rena spluttered incoherently for a second and stormed off._**

 ** _Ladybug and Chat deepened the kiss. Giddy with love, both superheroes realized that despite Rena's interference, Hawkmoth's evil plans, and their secret identities, the moment was perfect._**

 ****Ladybug, still steaming about the insults to Rena Rouge, exited out of the story with a little more force than necessary.

"At least you're aren't in love with Hawkmoth." Chat reminded her.

Ladybug groaned. "Why are we still reading this?"

AN: Review, favorite, follow, and recommend to others!


End file.
